I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
pray to the hookup gods
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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