Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
