Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
