fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Yo dont text me then not text me
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
They are going to name an STD after you.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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