Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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