it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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