So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
