real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
