why didn't you poke me back
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
