She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
