I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You took a bar mat shot.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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