who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
