I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
