wakey wakey hands off snakey
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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