Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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