just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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