so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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