She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
