I'm lost and stupid without you.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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