Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
