You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
