Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
