True but thats because hes a fetus.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
