Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
