Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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