I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
