went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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