woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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