mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
