I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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