big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
