if i can run in heels then i can drive
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
