This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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