How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
