...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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