HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
