not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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