Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize