Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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