therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
