either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
