just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
