He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
