I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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