singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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