ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
