They should really pass out barf bags in church
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
