So drunk its hurt
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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