How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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