margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
