He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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