Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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