Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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