I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
