I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
