My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
