So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
