who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
