first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize