they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
this is an emotional support booty call
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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