I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I puked a lego.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just puked most of my soul out..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize