Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
