I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
